Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Bit by Bit

Many of you know about my love for (even obsession with) the city of Portland. Yes, it's true. I do love it there.

The green trees, the arts and music scene, the coffee shops, the free spirit, the great proximity to farms (which means good food is never too far away), the many vineyards...the coast (unlike anything I have ever seen before in California.) And all so affordable!

It's a pretty neat place. Something like more brew pubs per capita than any other city. There's something like 12 bridges within city limits, and it was once referred to as Stumptown, because of the lodging industry--all of the trees were stumps. But that has since changed and Portland is a 'green', eco-friendly, and liberal place. The home of the creator of "The Simpson's", there's a quirkiness to Portland that I enjoy.

Why else do I love it so much? It was an escape for me after my mom passed away.

The city was a getaway for me. A place where I had the opportunity to grieve, to get away from life, and to spend some time with people that really took care of me. I know this sounds cheesy, but they helped me begin my healing process.

Mom passed away in March last year. And I think I was literally a blob all of April (ok, probably longer than just April...) I would sleep, cry, drink. Repeat. Oh, and some semblance of myself made it into work everyday.

I took a trip up to Portland in May. It was just a chance to get away, and to spend some time with some friends up there. It was perfect timing and just what I needed. I was lucky enough to spend time away from my daily life, my daily surroundings, even my daily friends. I was carefree, meeting new people, getting excited about things, and just taking time to let my heart, and body feel emotions other than sadness.

I have since returned a number of times to Portland...each time falling a little bit more in love with the city. I was just up there this last week and again left feeling refreshed and having had the chance to connect with friends, old and new.

I had dinner with my friend John one night I as up there. As we got to talking, I learned that he had lost his mom a few years ago. He told me, "The hole in your heart will go away a little bit...bit by bit..." His words spoke really true to me. There truly is a hole in your heart after the death of a loved one. I appreciated that he knew where I was coming from and that he didn't say the pain would go away. It never will. And although I don't necessarily believe him right now, I can only hope that it does go away a little bit...bit by bit.

A sign from one of the rose bushes at the Portland Rose Garden

No comments:

Post a Comment