Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Things I Wish I Could Say

We all have those moments. When we have something pop in our minds, and we just can't say it out loud. It's not appropriate. Or it's just not nice. And in this day and age, with social networking and social media all at out finger tips, it can be hard to not say the things you really want to say. Whether it's at work, and you're dealing with a tough situation or person....Or one of those times when you want to let your raw emotions loose...

Facebook, Twitter, this blog. None of it is anonymous. You can’t really say what you want to say anymore. You have to edit yourself. And watch what you say. So why don't I just do some good old fashioned journal writing you ask? And actually say what I want to say? Because there's something therapeutic about saying it 'out loud'. For the world to hear you. For ‘dedicating your status’ to saying exactly what’s on your mind.

Over the last few months, I’ve been jotting down all of the things that I wish I could say but couldn’t. Here are some of them:

"When will work ease up? Feeling overwhelmed."
"Feeling let down..."
"Meeting went great, I nailed it!"
"Feeling so confused"
"I see the light at the end of the tunnel..."
"Wishing I lived there instead...would things be different?"
"So frustrated by this project"
"Now there's a way to make a girl feel special!"
"Why are men such jerks?"
"Being French isn't an excuse"
"What's it all for?"
"It's just the accent..."
"How do you explain those actions?"
"Did they mean what they said?"
"Who should I believe?"
"Is all hope lost?"
"Why can't I be more like a man? Less emotion please"
"Surprisingly? She wasn't that pretty. He could do better"
"Why must geography be such a challenge?"
"Feeling like the pessimist today, not the optimist"
"First it was the Post-It, now it's the website..."
"There's only so much rejection a girl can take"
"Huge crush, he's adorable!"
"Yes, it's part of the accent phase-embrace it!"
"He had a scooter! Beep beep!"
"It was perfect...except for the geography"
"Best weekend, still on cloud nine"
"Feeling loved and on top of the world"
"It's the conversation-I can be creative with him"
"How does he really remember every conversation we've had?? Surprising..."
“I’m kind of giddy still”

Are you always able to say what you want? Do you filter your tweets, status updates and postings? Is there ever really a time and place for pure honesty? I wish there was. If we weren't all trying so hard to say the right things, or to prevent hurt feelings, would we be better off?

I continue to wear my heart on my sleeve. And despite my best efforts not to show my emotions or feelings, I do. Something to work on I suppose. So I guess, even if I don't accurately post my true feelings, one look at me, and the secret's out. I'm not so good at hiding my feelings. And that's no secret.

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